Yesterday it was confirmed that our beautiful and beloved pet Jake has a fairly aggressive cancer. There's little we can do and so to with my absolute grief, to cope, I write. A little while ago I read this account of what seems like someone going through the same thing, and that's what I've taken inspiration from.
18 - 19 April 2016
We're going for a ride in the car today. I love going for rides on the car and I love it when my mummy is home on school holiday. Mummy found a weird lump in my throat yesterday. I think it's why I've been so thirsty during the night recently and why, even though daddy tells me off, I've been drinking from the toilet.
We pull up outside that place we go to once a year. There's dogs and cats on the sign and a big cow in the window. Is it real? Better keep an eye on it just in case. We talk to a nice lady at the counter who speaks in a high voice and knows my name! We're waiting to see that man that seems friendly but smells funny. I am a good boy in the waiting room and mum scratches my ears. I love when she does that. I also get treats if I 'mat' and 'wait', so that's what I'll do... But I'll still keep my eye on that cow.
The man comes out to see us and talks to mum. I wiggle my bum to show the man I'm a nice dog. Then he takes us to that room that smells funny and closes the door. Why did he do that? Now
I'm scared. Mummy talks to the man. Gosh she's a good mum, I hope we can do some gardening when we go home, I like helping. The man wants to touch me, no thanks. I growled and mummy is upset with me, but I'm just a bit scared mum, why does he want to touch me? It wasn't a nice pat touch either, and he smells, remember mum? I was naughty and growled and now I have to wear a thing around my nose. Stupid thing. Mummy and the man talk some more while I hide behind mum. She won't let anything bad happen. When the man comes back he's brought the nice lady from the front with him and he has something sharp in his hand. Mummy holds me still while the nice lady talks to me. Then something sharp goes in my leg, ouch! The man and lady leave and I'm left with my mummy. I feel better now just with mum, and she's scratching my ear again, yay.
We just sit there for a while. Mummy seems sad so I rest my chin on her knee. She's the best mum. I'm starting to feel a bit weird, really sleepy. I might lie down for a bit. The man comes back, but I don't have the energy to growl now, he's a nice man really. Mummy and the man lead me to a little room with a door. There's a nice blanket in there which looks very comfy. I'm so sleepy. I don't want to go in but it must be ok if mum goes in and talks in her nice high voice. I go in and mum goes out, I should follow her but I'm so sleepy and she tells me to wait. Mummy kisses my nose and the door closes. I might just lie down, I'm very sleepy.
I can hear mum's voice! And Leah and Willow's giggling! They're back. I sit up and wiggle my bum but I feel very sleepy so I lie back down until they get here. I can hear that nice man talking to mum. He said that all are my lymph nodes are enlarged and it doesn't look good. I wonder what that means. The man says some other words like bloods, chemotherapy and costs but I can just hear my mummy's voice. Man I can't wait to see her. They're here! There's mum and Willow's smiley face and there's Leah, my big girl. I get to my feet but I'm very wobbly. Let's go home! Leah takes my leash from the man, pats my bum and says 'come on Jacob.' It's so funny how she calls me that, but I don't mind. The room is rocking a bit but I need to walk with Leah, I just wanna go home with my family. The man says he'll call mum tomorrow. I wonder what for? We only come once a year, maybe he means next year. There's our car! Man I'm sleepy. Mummy helps me onto the front seat. Geez I must be tired, sorry mum. It's hard to stay sitting in the front seat like normal and mum laughs when she sees I've slumped over onto her seat. She says 'come on matey, just a little drive and we'll be home'. I can't wait so I try and sit up in my seat but end up with my head down where dad's feet go. Mum puts her hand on my back and I feel better.
We're home. Leah helps me inside but I just want to lie down. I'm all confused and I'm not sure where to settle. Mum gets me a blanket in the room with the TV so I can be with everyone. She always knows what to do. I was a bit naughty overnight and made a mess in the lounge. I'm still a bit confused and I thought it was the grassy place. Mummy cleaned it up but she didn't growl like she used to when I was a puppy, I wonder why? Mummy said I can sleep all day on her bed today while she's out (don't tell her I usually creep up onto her bed once she's gone anyway). I can't wait! I'm still very sleepy. She leaves some water in the room too, I'm glad cuz I've been so thirsty lately. Bye mum, see you tonight. Zzzzzzz
