"There's no shame in asking for help"

I've had a shit week, this past week. It all stemmed from reaching out for some help in a professional setting and it going tits up very, very quickly. Don't worry, I'm not rehashing it here, nor am I naming names or arguing my point - been there, gave up on that. Blaming and revisiting a broken system is not my intention here.

What I wanted to write about today has to do with asking for help and for how to give help with someone (here I was going to write "with depression" or "with anxiety", but I think it doesn't matter what their mental state is) if you find yourself in the position to do so.

Being on the receiving end of little to no genuine support this week when I asked for help, and disclosed how my brain was feeling, was astonishing for me. We're told 'it's ok to ask for help,' 'there's no shame in asking for help' and that 'people are here for you', but in my very recent experience (with a small selection of people mind you) - that wasn't the case. Luckily for me I have great friends, family and a formidable, kick ass, reassuring husband (one who texts me things like "The ones who matter care and the ones that don't, ain't shit.") Fortunately I kept reaching out for help to those people I know would be a sympathetic and helpful ear. And boy did I - thank you all of you absolute legends.

But, what about those that don't? And that is my intention today; To encourage you to always help.

Whether it's awkward, difficult, tear inducing, completely off the target, or unwanted. Whether they're not ready or in the wrong. Whether you're afraid of the repercussions of helping. ASK. CHECK. LISTEN. HELP! 

New Zealand has a shitty, shitty suicide rate and you asking if that person is OK or letting them know that your ear is ready to listen when they need it might be what it takes to let someone know they matter. Because that's all it is, letting them know that they matter. Like I said, luckily I have great support and thankfully I wasn't feeling that low. But I felt the isolation. I felt myself questioning my decision to seek help. I felt myself going to a darker place. 

Look after the people around you and be mindful of them. Do what's right. Be a good human being. Most of all - talk about it. I hummed and harred about this post, and I'm still not happy with parts of it, but this message needs to be talked about, not kept in. Too many people don't say anything, don't ask for help and don't talk about their state of mind.

Talk about it. Talk about how you are feeling. If things are getting too much, ask for help. If you don't get it in the first place you ask, seek help from someone else. Keep seeking it until you get it. Lastly, and I can't stress this enough, don't put up with any crappy bullying tactics, fight that shit tooth and fucking nail.